


Pusharound

by terma_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M, Post-Episode: s06e22 Biogenesis, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-07-01
Updated: 1999-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26536015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist
Summary: Sequel to Pushover
Relationships: Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder
Collections: TER/MA





	Pusharound

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [TER/MA](https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the TER/MA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile).  
> KEYWORDS. Telepathy (an experimental fiction) I managed to work in a spider, a farm with a white fence, our heroes and a knife, just for Rowanne. Phew!

  
**Pusharound  
by Megaera**

  


  
_What we call telepathy is that knowledge comes to the consciousness of someone without the paths of communication that are familiar to us........ It is implicitly presupposed that this concerns a person in whom the receiver of the communication has a strong emotional interest. Sigmund Freud—Dreams and occultism (1933)_

* * *

Alex Krycek stared down at the tape he had just taken from Walter Skinner's office. Evidence of Fox Mulder's bizarre behaviour at the moment. Evidence he planned to destroy before the remaining members of the Consortium, including Spender, the Smoker got to hear about it. He wondered again why he was bothering to protect Mulder. Why he tried to find information to help the agent. Why he was willing to risk capture in the FBI building and why he had suborned Walter Skinner, long time Consortium source, into helping him. Skinner wouldn't reveal Mulder's weakness now. He knew what would happen to him if he did. Alex had made that quite clear. And the degree of his protective ferocity had made the older man's eyes widen, and a new realisation dawn there. 

Alex wanted to tell him he was mistaken. He and Fox Mulder were nothing to each other. Not now! Once, a couple of years ago, he and his Fox had spent a memorable, wonderful night together. They had made love for most of the night........ Just before Mulder had tried to kill himself with Alex's gun. And all because of Robert Modell, the Pusher, a man long dead now. Pusher had used his unique psychic talent to force people to do his will, and had influenced Mulder in a deliberate attempt to humiliate and torture him. He had left a post hypnotic suggestion in Mulder's unconscious mind, ordering him to spend the night with a man then shoot himself. Which is exactly what Mulder would have done in pain and humiliation, if only Alex hadn't come along. And the strength of their passion had helped Mulder to resist Modell's command. 

Alex remembered how foolish he had been, when he found out that Mulder hadn't slept with him voluntarily. In his pride..... or perhaps because he had no confidence in himself so soon after losing his arm, Alex had stormed off. He had ignored Mulder's plea for him to stay. What a fool he'd been. If only he'd had the courage to stay and work things out....... 

And the memories of that night had haunted him ever since. 

Alex had only spoken with Mulder once since then, and had given him information on the alien resistance. But by then, Mulder's mental barriers were back up, and there had been an anger and hostility in the older man's eyes when he looked at Alex. The pain of rejection....... Alex knew _that_ feeling only too well. He didn't even know why he had tried. But for once his longing had overwhelmed him, and he had kissed Mulder. He could still remember the scent of the agent, the slight rasp of stubble across his cheek. The brief flash of some unknown emotion, quickly suppressed. Mulder hadn't pulled away, but then he hadn't reciprocated either. He had just stared at Alex until the tension became too much, and the younger man had regretfully given up and left. 

Since then, Alex had seen Mulder only from a distance. Once when he had threatened Skinner. And a couple of times when he had secretly spied on his one time lover. 

What a mess their lives were! 

And now his secret sources informed him that the Consortium was taking a new interest in Fox Mulder for some reason. Something to do with an apparently alien artefact that had been recently discovered. Mulder had started to behave oddly under its influence, as if subjected to some great mental stress. Alex needed to know more. And so he had visited a scientific expert who worked for the Consortium. And without compunction, had killed the man after he had thoroughly been interrogated. Perhaps stuffing the body in a garbage disposal unit had been a trifle extreme, but Alex was beginning to realise that he would do anything for Fox. 

Odd to realise now, of all times, that he loved the man. 

* * *

Mulder couldn't seem to focus his thoughts properly. With increasing regularity, waves of sound and an intense pain were penetrating his brain, making him feel dizzy and sick. It had started, to a lesser degree, the first time he had seen a copy of the symbols written on an alleged alien artefact. And when he had seen a mere rubbing of the same signs, his present difficulties had begun. 

_Gabbling of a thousand voices_

He had to find that damned scientist, get an explanation........ Was it really alien? Even as he rushed out of the man's office in search of him, the pain intensified. Something to do with being surrounded by so many people. His senses were reaching saturation point. The noise in his head was almost overwhelming. He pushed his way through a door into the stairwell of the building, and took two steps. Then his legs gave way beneath him and he collapsed. 

_Cacophony_

He was aware of the coolness of the concrete beneath his cheek. The sound of footsteps oddly divorced from the roar in his head. The aching pain in his brain made him whimper. The footsteps came closer and closer, finally paused next to him. He couldn't even raise his head, the nausea and agony were so great. He felt a brief coolness against his cheek, and a gentle brush of fingers across his forehead. 

_Fox....... My Fox......._

The strangely familiar voice echoed inside his head, momentarily eclipsing the others, so that he gasped in relief. Then there was the sound of a nearby door opening, and the hand touching him was withdrawn with a curse that may or may not have been inside his head. He felt the presence of the other fade away into the distance and moaned in protest, even as the voices returned in an tremendous clamour that sent him spinning into blackness. 

* * *

They had placed Fox Mulder in a mental hospital. 

Fowley! That bitch! She had taken Mulder away and tried to interrogate him. But without success. She had tried to seduce Mulder and find out what he knew about the alien artefact. Whether it whispered the secrets of the cosmos to his overloaded brain. And because he trusted her, Mulder had told her enough about what was happening to him to intrigue her. 

And yet in the end, Mulder had somehow divined Fowley's intention to betray him. The bitch had tasered him and the effect had been so traumatic on his overloaded brain that he had almost drowned in his own vomit. 

Alex vowed vengeance. But he was still left with the problem of what to do next. Alex had received the news later that day from his Consortium colleagues. He was still trusted at the moment....... 

They would keep Mulder in the high security wing of the hospital, and like Gibson Praise, he would be tested, and experimented on, until the scientists could figure out what was happening inside his brain. 

Alex moaned softly to himself, and closed his eyes. He still remembered the look of sad resignation on Gibson's face as he was led away to the labs. 

_No!_

_Not while there was still breath in his body!_

* * *

Mulder shook his head dazedly for the umpteenth time, trying in vain to clear the fog that filled his brain. He wasn't sure where he was, or why he was here, but he remembered pain in his head, and strong emotions that seemed unnatural, exaggerated. As if he couldn't quite control his own thoughts any more. He had a vague recollection of seeing Scully watching him. Her concern, the caring warmth she felt for him as she watched his disintegration on a monitor screen. He had screamed and screamed her name until his throat was raw from the effort. But she hadn't come. 

That wasn't quite right........ 

He hadn't seen her...... The room was enclosed, padded....... And yet he had known beyond all doubt that she was there. 

There was also a recollection of Diana Fowley leaning over him, smiling....... on his bed....... 

That wasn't right either....... 

He wouldn't have let her touch him, would he? 

All he really remembered after that was a terrible sense of betrayal, when he thought about her. But whether she had betrayed him, or he had betrayed some part of himself, he didn't know. 

Hate was a good feeling. It cut through the fog a little. Sharpening his mind, but bringing with it the first twinges of pain. 

No! 

The _pain_ was coming back. And with its touch, he heard the first voices start to murmur inside his mind. He twisted his head back and forward, trying to avoid them. When had they strapped him down? He couldn't remember. 

Useless to fight the _pain_

Useless to try and avoid that terrifying place where the voices screamed. 

He was sorry already, that he had fought to escape the effects of the sedation. He moaned, hating his weakness, but wanting to drift again in that white fog. 

The door of the room opened and he couldn't hold back the rush of relief when he saw the white coated figure enter. Now they would inject him again and the pain would go away again. But then he saw the doctor's face. 

Alex Krycek! 

* * *

"Shit!" 

Alex Krycek bent over the prone form of Fox Mulder, taking in the bloodshot, pain filled eyes and the bewildered pain in the hazel eyes. He had never seen Mulder look so wretched. Mulder's pupils were huge, an effect of the tranquilliser he was on, and yet they had deemed it necessary to apply the full restraints, as if he was a psychotic patient. Not that Fox Mulder had ever been one hundred percent stable, but he didn't usually pose that kind of danger. 

"Alex......." Mulder gritted out the word. "Come to gloat.......?" He tried to lift his head to glare at Krycek, but even that much effort left his head spinning, and he moaned as pain stabbed between his eyes. The voices seemed to redouble in volume and everything blurred for a moment. When the world reassembled itself, all the surfaces of wall and floor around him seemed haloed in luminous shades of green and blue. He giggled at the mad light show around him, but once again, the pain returned to remind him of his misery. 

Alex was doing something at his chest, as he stared into space, wondering why the walls rippled with magenta. 

_Goddamn it Fox. You've gotta help me here....._

Someone..... who was it? Alex! ..... was trying to get him upright. An arm was awkwardly round his shoulder, trying to pull him to his feet. 

_.....Stupid damn arm........_

"....Hurts, Alex...." Why was he telling the rat bastard that. Alex didn't want him. Alex didn't care. 

Krycek was muttering curses as he tugged at Mulder. The arm tightened around him, tugging, and he found his head resting on Krycek's shoulder. He leaned into the warmth he found there, something about it seeming to push the dark, terrible sound of the voices away from him a little. 

_Yeah. That's it. Come on baby....._

Mulder giggled softly to himself at that, no longer thinking very coherently. The warm body started to draw back from him and he stumbled along, trying to maintain contact. Trying to keep the horror at bay. Wrapping his arms around Alex as closely as possible. 

Alex sighed in relief. For a moment, he had thought that it would be impossible to manage Mulder, with his one good arm, it was all but impossible to drag the older man's body. But with the last of his strength, Fox was managing to force his body to move. Slowly, with drunkenly inept steps, Mulder succeeded in walking. His arms still clutched in a death grip, on Alex's leather jacket, and they made their way as quickly as Mulder could move, to a waiting hire van in the parking lot. Mulder never even noticed how easy it was. 

_......Lucky I killed those guards......._

Alex pushed Mulder in through the sliding side door of the white van, and slid the door closed. Then he took off, driving as fast as he dared, away from the hospital. 

_....have to change vehicles........ caught on security cameras......._

Mulder began to moan in agony, his body doubling over, as they reached his other vehicle, a nondescript black car parked on a leafy suburban street. It was the work of moments to push the unresisting Mulder into the passenger seat, and drive away, abandoning the van. Mulder kept on whimpering in that distressing way. Alex tried to ignore the sound. 

_.....soon baby...... hold on....._

Finally he could stand the sound of Mulder's distress no longer, and pulled the car over. He reached over to touch Mulder's shoulder, and heard the older man gasp as Alex's hand brushed against his face. 

Mulder was in hell. The voices........... 

_screaming and shouting and laughing and crying and howling and sobbing and........_

He couldn't block out the sound no matter what he tried. They only got louder and more insistent, hammering a nail into his overloaded brain. Then Alex touched him, skin against skin. And the mind that was Alex brushed against his, eclipsing the voices, forcing them into the background, sending them into the distance where they were muted and bearable. With a deep sigh, his head relaxed against Alex's shoulder, his hair brushing against Alex's smooth cheek. Some part of him recognised with surprise, the degree of concern and love in this man's mind. He clung to it, as a drowning man would cling to a rock, the only stability in a world gone mad. And he sighed softly, whispered a response. 

"I never knew you loved me Alex." 

Even as Alex was still trying to process that startling announcement, Mulder's arms wrapped around him, and the agent sagged against him in exhausted sleep. 

* * *

Mulder would never remember much about the next few hours. His brain perhaps blocked out the memories of overwhelming pain. He would retain a confused impression of Alex close to him....., the sharp sting of a hypo in his arm....., movement in more than one vehicle. Once, the nausea of travelling over water...... And finally, a blessed silence inside his mind, as the voices gradually faded and were gone. 

* * *

He awoke on the afternoon of the third day after his rescue. It was actually his convulsive movement to throw off the light sheet that covered him, that brought him fully awake. He was in a small, clean bedroom, the decor of which was simple and vaguely Shaker. Something countrified and well crafted. 

The air was cool and fresh, and the sun slanting through slatted wooden blinds on the window argued that it was well past midday, possibly even late afternoon. The sunlight caught upon the first faint strands of a spider's web that was being created as he watched, one patient strand at a time. 

Mulder sat up in bed, the coverlet falling further onto the floor at the side of the bed. He felt hungry, and it seemed as though his mind was awake and clear for the first time in weeks. Had it been that long? He had no clear recollection of how long he had been out of touch, but he suspected that it had been a long time. He rose to his feet, half surprised to find no trace of stiffness or fatigue in his body. Still naked, he made his way to the window and peered out. The rolling grass of the Prairies met his gaze. As far as he could tell, at least on this side of the house, there was no sign of civilisation. Hardly surprising, some farms in the Mid West were so isolated that you could walk for days and not see any signs of civilisation. And this was apparently one such farm. He could see a whitewashed fence marking a small corral, to one side of the property. 

He couldn't remember coming here, no matter how much he tried. His last coherent memory was being in the doctor's office and looking at a small piece of paper that had some smudged markings on one side. Things got a little fuzzy after that. Faces appeared in his mind, in no discernible order. Diana Fowley, Skinner, Scully. And Alex Krycek...... How long had it been since he had seen that rat? He closed his eyes briefly, as memories returned unbidden, of that one time when they had been more than enemies...... but ultimately less than lovers. The rejection still stung, despite the lapse of two lonely years. 

_Alex slowly sliding into him, as he begged for it on hands and knees......_

Alex grinning, as he lay back on the sheets, an all too satisfied gleam in his eyes 

Alex as his face contorted in despair, and he fled the scene of their one night stand, never to return 

The brief flash of hope in the Rat's face as his lips brushed against Mulder's cheek in the semi-darkness of Mulder's apartment 

What a mess! 

The sudden creak of the door behind him startled Mulder out of his reverie. He turned expectantly, to face the person who had brought him here, needing an explanation for his present circumstances. And gasped as he found himself face to face with the Rat himself. 

Alex saw his shock, and those full lips curved slightly, registering amusement. 

"What the hell's going on Krycek? Why did you bring me here? What do you want, you son of a bitch?" 

Something hardened in Krycek's face, and the assassin's voice, when he spoke, was glacially cool. 

"You don't remember, do you Fox?" 

Mulder glared at his nemesis. "Remember what? Did you kidnap me to stop me finding out the truth about that artefact?" 

Alex shook his head. "Don't you feel hungry Fox?" He knew he had the upper hand. "And don't you think this conversation would be more civilised if you put some clothes on?" His eyes wandered in a slow, deliberate drift across Fox Mulder's naked body, and the smile returned when he saw a slight flush cross Mulder's face, interestingly colouring other parts of his body too. 

Mulder watched Krycek's eyes move across his body, deliberately taunting, and before he could stop his response, he felt his cock twitch in response. He quickly turned away, but not before the damage had been done. He heard Alex hiss in surprise. 

_Oh shit!_

Being naked and at a disadvantage in front of Alex Krycek was a hell of a way to start the day. And his body readily begin to respond, all too willing to announce its approval of the leather clad assassin. 

"Get out Krycek and let me dress." Mulder fumbled for the shirt he had seen hanging over the back of a wooden chair, close by the end of the bed. 

Alex had frozen when he saw what effect he was having on Mulder. He couldn't have moved if he had wanted to, which he assuredly didn't. Being in the same room as Mulder tended to have that effect. And the hoarse sound of Mulder's voice brought its own kind of torment. The man sounded breathless and needy, all at once, as if he was begging to be fucked through the wall. 

"No!" Alex said softly. 

"Please....." Mulder managed. He sounded so desolate, that before he could stop himself, Alex reached out and touched his former lover. 

_WANT NEED LOVE HEAT FIRE DESPAIR_

A tangled whirl of emotions broke into Fox Mulder's mind, the pent up desperation and longing in Alex Krycek's mind. Mulder couldn't hope to control the passionate outburst that filled his mind. His brain, sensitive now to the merest whisper of thought, was lost in the flood. A true telepathic response. And even as it washed over him, he remembered the traumatic events of the past week, the hospital, his colleagues' betrayals. 

But this time was different. This far from civilisation, there was no- one else within range of his mind but Alex. There was no pain, it took the combined assault of thousands of minds close to his in the city to drive him out of his mind. 

Not here and now though. 

He could bear the touch of just one mind. Though his body couldn't resist the sudden wave of another's desire as it flooded through him. With a low groan of longing, he turned and pulled Alex Krycek hard against him. He felt the startled response more as a flash of colour within his mind, then Alex yielded against him in boneless surrender. 

They kissed, and to his surprise, Mulder could feel the pleasure of the other man as he ran his tongue along the ridges in Alex's mouth. He did it again, more urgently, demanding the kiss, and with a growing sense of wonder, felt the heat flash through Alex's mind. He began to have some small suspicions of what had happened to him. 

_....Need to undress.... .....Damn arm.... ......So good....._

He was hearing Alex Krycek's thoughts. By some miracle. And yet more wonderful still was the feel of this man close to him once again. The heady, addictive smell of leather, the dark clad body pressed against his, the lean torso that felt so wonderful in his arms. His hands began to push up the dark t-shirt with its obscure logo about some insect topic, maybe a band....? He felt a need to respond to Alex's awkwardness about his injury, an strange gentleness. Odd how a single glimpse into Alex Krycek's mind had brought that out in him. There was an unguarded vulnerability about the younger man's thoughts. He would have to think about the ethics of reading minds..... but not just yet...... He had uncovered that delectable torso, and was testing Alex's response, trailing his tongue across the left nipple and admittedly enjoying the way Alex's thoughts turned incoherent. In fact, to a very uncharacteristic joyous entreaty that was curiously endearing. 

He pushed back until Alex's legs were pressed against the edge of the bed, and the two of them tumbled back onto the bed. 

Was that really a joyous whoop he heard in the younger man's mind? 

On top of Alex, he realised that he could quite quickly become addicted to the _taste_ of Alex's mind. He cupped the younger man's face between his hands and stared down into the green eyes. Alex stilled, and watched him uncertainly. He could feel the heat of the other's skin, the hard nipples pressing against his chest. He could feel the younger man's erection pressing against his, and it was hard not to rub himself against the other. 

"Is this what you intended Alex? When you brought me here. For us to end up in bed......?" Mulder had to know. Alex shook his head, and Mulder received a confused impression of desperation and fear for him, a sense of reckless flight and worry for him. 

"That's all I wanted to know!" Mulder kissed Alex hard. He drew back and saw the delectable sight of Alex in the throes of passion, head flung back, mouth reddened from the pressure of his lips, breathing rapidly. He ran his fingers down the sleek flanks, finding a new joy in the small echoes of delight that resounded in his partner's mind. _This_ was like no other encounter he had ever known. Alex was so sweet to the touch, so responsive. And he felt so right. Secure and safe. Gentle and tender. 

_Alex Krycek? The Rat himself?_

He was swept away on a wave of desire, before he could even consider that thought. Drawn down _into_ the body that writhed and moaned in his arms, as he sought the most delectable places to probe with fingers and tongue. He _was_ a telepath, and he _knew_ what his partner's most secret dreams and desires were. From the moment his tongue first swirled across a flat belly and he heard the gasps, mental and physical, that were elicited. 

Alex would never forget this night, not ever. There was a tongue working busily between his legs, and he was being taken from one plateau to a higher peak, just by the newly expert touches of this man. It had never been like this before. Mulder seemed to know exactly what to do to reduce Alex to a shivering, moaning mass. He didn't yield himself up lightly to any man. But he had without hesitation spread himself wide for this man in a gesture of trust, so unlike his usual self. Fox Mulder had smiled brilliantly, and proceeded to drive him out of his mind, again and again, knowing with uncanny accuracy when his partner was about to come, and drawing back from the brink. 

Did he know that he had been given Alex Krycek's soul, along with his body? 

Then there was a pause, and he caught a glorious glimpse of Mulder poised above him, panting with exertion, and the effort of holding himself back. 

"Fox, oh yeah! Now.... Please...." 

Whether it was in mind, body or both, Mulder didn't know. But his response was to push his way into Alex, gasping at the heat of penetration. 

_Pain Heat FUCK!! THERE FOX!!_

His mind lost whatever coherence it had left. There was only the white fire of taking/being taken. There was no longer a separation between Alex and himself. Only the glory of sliding in and drawing back in a maelstrom of fire. Someone was screaming, it could have been Alex, himself, or even both of them in unison. Then fireworks exploded in his head, the combined orgasms of both of them echoing inside his skull, a volume surely far too small to contain the detonation. 

Mulder fainted. 

* * *

"You okay?" Alex sounded uncertain. He gave a tentative little smile, slightly guilty, as if he was afraid he had harmed his Fox. 

Mulder lay languorously on the bed, staring at the half completed web on the corner of the window. 

"I'm alright Alex. Why don't you go make us some breakfast? I could do with the extra calories after that workout!" Alex beamed a grin at him full force, and headed for the kitchen, chuckling over the fact that it was four in the afternoon. 

After a while, Mulder slowly dragged himself to his feet. He couldn't remember ever feeling so good. Not just physically satisfied, but with the warm glow of Alex's mind touch echoing in the background, like a cat purring. Admittedly, an extremely satisfied cat. There was a hint of something deeper there too, that Mulder didn't want to examine too closely. He would have liked to pretend it was just deep affection, but he knew better. It was curiously soothing. And damned addictive. He was sure he could get used to this life quickly. 

He had a relaxed shower, then pulled on a bath robe and headed for the busy sounds of Alex cooking. 

His partner greeted him, and began to chop some mushrooms on the kitchen work surface. 

"Omelette okay?" Alex said. Mulder nodded, and moved forward to wrap his arms around Alex's waist as he worked. Alex leaned into the embrace of the man holding him from behind. The mind-purr increased about ten fold. Mulder buried his face in the warm chestnut hair, let his lips tickle the back of Alex's neck. Alex squirmed, and moved his head to let Mulder nuzzle the side of his neck. 

"Strange, isn't it Alex!" Mulder sighed into the warm skin. "That we ended up in bed together. I used to think you guilty of so much. So many killings......" 

He hadn't intended to criticise Alex, just be open about there relationship. But he wasn't prepared for the briefest flash of memory that came into Alex's mind. 

A picture of Mulder's father at the end of Alex's gun. 

Alex blithely went on preparing food, his mind-contentment unchanged, until he felt the stiff and unresponsive figure next to him. Surprised, he turned, but was totally unprepared for the fist that caught him on the side of the jaw, knocking him to the floor. 

"You son of a bitch! You _did_ kill my father! 

Alex stared at him, as he began to get an inkling of what had just happened. What the scientist had suspected was true. He had brought Fox away from civilisation just in case it was true. But to have the suspicion of telepathy confirmed like this! 

Mulder snatched up the abandoned food knife and pressed it against Alex's chest. 

"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now, you black hearted bastard?" 

Alex stared dully at his lover. 

"Go ahead. You _know_ I won't fight you. If you saw that much inside my head then look at the rest." 

He opened his mind to Mulder, showing him what had really happened that night. 

_Bill Mulder facing Alex's gun_

Bill Mulder yelling abuse at Alex while his spaced out son sat in a drug induced haze. 

Mulder's father pointing a gun at his own son's head 

Alex saving his Foxes life by firing first.... 

The knife clattered out of Mulder's numb fingers. He couldn't hurt Alex. Not now. Not ever. Not when that mind offered itself to him. Alex could have killed him three times over, but he had just waited for Mulder to finish him. As if living without Mulder was more than he could bear...... 

Alex carefully retrieved the knife without comment, and put it to one side. 

"I've always loved you. But never more than right now." Alex looked sad. "I'll leave. You'll be safe here. I won't tell anyone where you are. There are enough supplies for months." He moved over to the nearest window. The spider was once again busily at work. 

"Mind reading is more of a minefield than I ever expected!" Mulder said dully, finally admitting the truth to his lover. "Oh Alex......" A tear rolled unbidden down his cheek. 

"I used to be clean cut and honest, believe it or not!" Alex sighed. "It was never supposed to be this way." 

Alex continued to watch the spider busily spinning her web. 

"You learn to do things that would have left you sick to your stomach, if only you had time to think about it. Things that had to be done, because circumstances left you no other choice. Once you fall into their webs, once you get snared in their nets. Once upon a time, an age ago, I swore to protect and serve. I never dreamed where it would lead me, the depths I would fall to........ " 

He closed long lashed eyes, and Mulder could have sworn he saw a tear gleam there. But this was Alex Krycek, consortium killer, long time enemy, the man who had so much to answer for...... 

He reached instinctively for that new awareness, for the first time, trying to control it, to make _it_ serve _him._

_.......Oh god Fox......My love...... I wish..... If only I'd met you sooner....._

Longing 

Despair 

Alex blinked in surprise as a long fingered hand reached out and brushed away the suspicion of moisture at the corner of his eye. 

"We found each other in the end Alex. Doesn't that count for something?" Mulder gave a wry smile. "Don't you want to find out whether an assassin and an FBI agent can find some common ground?" 

Alex was staring at him, a look of wonder dawning on his face. 

"You read my mind........!" He whispered, only now realising the implications. 

"Yeah! I did, didn't I!" Fox Mulder reached out and stroked one finger down Alex's cheek, seeing the lips curve in a hesitant smile. "It's an X file. Maybe you should investigate it, give it some in depth coverage......." 

He didn't manage to finish what he was saying, Alex's mouth covered his, and he was borne down onto the soft rug that lay in front of the nearby log fire. An arm was holding onto him so tightly that he could feel the hardness of firm muscles in Alex's torso. Green eyes filled with hope, gleamed with reflected firelight as Alex lay above him, gazing into his face. Whatever Alex saw there, in Mulder's hazel eyes must have satisfied him, because he gave a small sigh, and leaned his forehead against Mulder's for a moment. 

"Love?" Mulder wondered. "Maybe!" He was sure as hell going to give it a chance. Maybe the two of them couldn't make a difference in the long run. But working........., living....... together. He was going to give it his best shot. It wouldn't be easy. But one thing was certain, He _knew_ that Alex meant what he said about caring for Mulder, and that was enough of a basis for trust. 

* * *

Pusharound   
by Megaera   
DATE July 1999   
E-MAIL [email removed]   
FEEDBACK Always welcome   
DISTRIBUTION Any time any place anywhere, but only if you enjoyed the story.   
RATING NC-17   
CONTENT WARNING m/m sex   
CATEGORY M/K   
SPOILERS After Biogenesis..... a possible future   
KEYWORDS. Telepathy (an experimental fiction)   
SUMMARY Sequel to Pushover   
DISCLAIMER Chris Carter and 1013 own the X files. No-one owns the future. I own my imagination and I wish I owned Alex Krycek....... Still, a girl can dream.   
I managed to work in a spider, a farm with a white fence, our heroes and a knife, just for Rowanne. Phew!   
  
  
---


End file.
